What If Mindfulness Is Just Not For You? 12 Alternatives For Calming Your Mind

May 19

What is the ultimate goal of mindfulness? It is presence and the ability to see things for what they are with loving and non-judgmental awareness.

And one of the main reasons why this practice has become so popular is because it is a beautiful antidote to the stress we experience on a daily basis.

Our fight flight or freeze response is constantly activated. And some stress is good, don’t get me wrong. Stress can be a good motivation, many people feel inspired by deadlines.

But the issue of our modern society is that we are hanging out in this state for too long. Science is showing in animals and young children that a brief state of stress can be productive and help them get their survival needs to be met. But only a few moments after, their systems will transition into rest and digest mode via sleeping, napping, lying down, or relaxing.

What If Mindfulness Is Just Not For You? 12 Alternatives For Calming Your Mind

But we have learned and have been conditioned to expose ourselves to stress states for extended periods of time. Slowing down is the antidote to this and you can read more about the miraculous benefits of REST here.

So, I want to urge and invite you in the name of science and your health, to slow down, become present and rest on a regular basis. And it doesn’t have to be through mindfulness. Here are 12 alternatives:

1) Gratitude practices

Gratitude practices are a great way to get you grounded in the present - quite literally - because they ask you to see the presents that have presented themselves to you in life. You can make this a daily exercise as soon as you wake up. You can have a gratitude journal for daily practice. That said, I would recommend keeping it at a weekly frequency to start with. A daily gratitude practice can be overwhelming at the beginning and may accidentally be turned into a habit of repeating the same things over and over again without feeling into your sense of gratefulness. You can set yourself a timer on your phone to spend a certain amount of time, like 3 minutes, thinking about the things you are grateful for. You can also set yourself an alarm as a reminder for every few days to do this activity. Gratitude practices are also a beautiful thing to do in company and you can even ask your partner in bed at night, “What are three things you are grateful for today”.

2) Savouring the moment

Savouring is a beautiful way to extend time. It is the active effort of rooting yourself in an enjoyable moment. For example, when you are out to have a cup of coffee and a croissant with a friend, instead of eating and drinking without paying attention to it, you can ground yourself in the moment by saying out loud how tasty it is. You can tell your friend how delicious it is. You can share the croissant and share the experience. Later in the day, the croissant can become part of your gratitude practice. You can learn more about this beautiful practice here.

3) Gentle movement

Exercise is great and it can really help you to get into the present and think about nothing but the track underneath your feet. But it still raises your heart rate and keeps you in a very active mode and high focus. A more gentle movement through slow yoga, pilates or a walk is more supportive in calming down your nervous system. These exercises promote being active in your body and movement but also to become present in your body and listen within. A walk also allows you to turn your attention outward to notice your surroundings with an open heart instead of with high-level focus and a nervous system that is prone to look out for dangers.

4) Meditation

Meditation is a wonderful way to calm down your nervous system and if you have tried it and maybe not enjoyed it, there may be a better form of meditation out there for you. We tend to forget that there are many different ways to meditate and it may all be a matter of finding what suits you best. Loving Kindness is a beautiful one and I recommend it a lot. It not only grounds you in the present but also in love for yourself and others. Now, I personally swear by meditation to become more calm and grounded but I also understand that it is not for everyone. So, if this is not your jam, don’t force yourself!

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5) Breathing exercises

We easily underestimate the power of our breath. You breathe all day every day and your breath is directly connected to your emotions. By changing your breathing patterns you can change the way you feel and you can change your bodily system. Breath is the quickest and easiest way to activate your parasympathetic nervous system and there are many different simple practices to make use of this underestimated health powerhouse. For example, just taking a deep, deep, deep breath in until your chest and ribs expand and holding it for a count of five before releasing it again through your nose or as a sigh through your mouth can work wonders.

6) Write a loving letter

Oh, the sweet art of writing a letter. When was the last time you wrote one to a friend or maybe your grandparents? Writing letters is a beautiful way to connect with someone else. It is a good opportunity to think about what has been happening in your life and what you are grateful for. And the simple act of choosing the paper, the pen, sitting down and writing by hand, closing the letter, licking or sticking the stamp on the envelope and maybe even adding a little doodle or sticker - all of this is a very slow process and promotes being right here right now with a few loving thoughts for another person. You can also write a letter to your younger self or to your future self and open the letter again in a few months or in a year!

7) Getting your creative juices flowing

Getting creative and into the flow with a gentle activity is a remedy for your soul and stressed nerves. When you get creative, you express yourself and your emotions which prevents you from suppressing them, which would result in further stress and feeling ungrounded. Creative activities can be anything from writing, drawing, cooking, gardening, playing an instrument. When we are creative we connect to something that is absolutely unique to us as humans, the ability to self-reflect and to create art. The goal doesn’t have to be to share your creativity with others. You can do it for your own personal benefit - even without thinking about any kind of outcome. Try to be creative for the sake of the moment spent.

8) Journaling

Journaling is a widely understood powerhouse activity when it comes to self-development, growth, working on fears, dreams, but also for creating memories. Did you use to write a diary as a teenager? Or on travels? Do you ever go back to them and read them again? Writing a diary or journaling has taken me a while to get around these days because my days didn’t feel so amazingly exciting that they were worth recording. But whenever I do write about my day and emotions, it has a cathartic effect. Now, I journal with journal prompts, to work through blocks, or to just note down a breakthrough I had – or to rant. It is a good way to empty out your mind onto the page and writing by hand – again – carries even more grounding qualities. You can make this activity a ritual, too! You can put on the kettle for a cup of tea or coffee, light a candle and get writing.

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9) Reading

According to Claudia Hammond’s research and the Rest Test, reading is widely the favourite activity for relaxing. I personally love reading – I studied literature for 7 years – and I still read on a daily basis. Reading a fiction book at night for at least 30 minutes in bed also helps to recover from the stresses of the day, to slow down eye movement, to focus your thoughts on the story in front of your eyes, and to slow down your thoughts. And all of these are good prerequisites for a peaceful sleep. The benefits of reading before going to sleep may not be proven by science at this stage, but anecdotal evidence shows that this is what helps many late-night readers to relax and sink into dreamland. Or how peaceful is a slow Saturday morning with a book and a cup of tea, even if just for 15 minutes?

10) Listening to music

Do you remember those times as a teenager when you would just sit and listen to a CD – maybe the latest CD from your favourite musician? When was the last time you just sat and listened to music? Music is another wonderful and wildly underestimated way to relax and have fun. Plus, certain music will have the power to transport you back into your own past and positive memories. Now, this may seem counter-intuitive for being in the present moment, but daydreaming is actually a very healthy way of resting because daydreaming means that your body and nervous system feel safe. So, reminiscing on past joys through your music of choice is a totally legitimate way of relaxing. So, choose some music you enjoy and get comfortable. My personal favourites are pretty much anything jazz. What are yours?

11) Time affluence

Doing nothing in particular, flowing from one moment to the next, a teaspoon full of la dolce far niente and a pinch of ennui, a sense of summer holidays in Italy before mobile phones, lying in the sun by the pool, maybe taking a dip or a nap, going with the flow of what draws you in next – that is time affluence and you can make it part of your week even without a ticket to Rome! Hammond found that doing nothing in particular is among the five favourite activities for resting and I can only vouch for that. Do you ever catch yourself just sitting in a chair and watching the clouds drift by, or sitting on your window sill with a cup of tea and watching the neighbours’ cat strolling around before you feel inspired to pull out an old photo album to flip through or that puzzle you have been wanting to pursue? That lazy, rainy Sunday afternoon feeling – how awesome is that?

12) Spending time in nature

An all-time classic and favourite and a pearl of old-maids wisdom that has never held more true than now are the healing qualities of spending time in nature. How much time do you spend in nature? As a part of nature, we feel dissociated from our truth when we divorce ourselves from our origin. A simple bushwalk, some time in the garden, watching the sky, some forest bathing, watching the snowflakes winding their way down from above, listening to birdsong are all ways to reconnect and calm your mind. It has actually been found that “Bird sounds that were associated with pleasant events or stimuli were felt to be helpful for attention restoration and stress recovery because they generated positive affective states and were associated with memories of positively valenced times and places.” Well, there is that. So, remember to look up and around and enjoy the wonders of the natural world, even if just from your kitchen window.

The takeaway.

Calming down is important. We are not designed to be constantly on the go and to constantly do and produce. It’s simply unhealthy. And in fact, the more time you spend working and maybe even worrying or stressing, the more time you want to spend calming down your mind or spending time in stillness. It is about creating a balance, a healthy equilibrium.

And I know you may think that you don’t have the time for it. But let me ask you, do you have the time not to do it?

Let’s just start by taking one step at a time, doing one little thing here and one little thing there. I know you can do this and I know that you will just feel sooo much better when you give yourself the time to slow down. let me know how you go!

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