Do You Feel Stuck In Your Comfort Zone?

Do you know that fear you get when you do something new?

Something that seems different from what you have done before?

Even if it is what you want to do - like trying out a dance class but you are worried what other people will think?

Or you are worried that you won’t be good at it or that somehow the Earth will collapse.

I am pretty sure that you are familiar with the term comfort zone.

At some point, you have probably been told or thought by yourself that you simply find it hard to get out of your comfort zone.

And sure you have heard someone say – or read somewhere – that your inner critic or fear wants to keep you “safe” and inside your comfort zone.

Now, truth be told – I have used these images and still am sometimes but I have recently discovered that this is actually a potentially harmful way of thinking about it.

So, a few months ago I went into my own exploration around this idea.

Here is the thing.

I would like to suggest a different term for the comfort zone and I am inviting you to call the “comfort zone” the “familiar zone” instead.

Why is that?

The language of “comfort zone” is terribly misleading and even potentially insensitive

• The comfort zone is not necessarily comfortable – or safe!

• The word comfortable may be associated with being lazy – which can be hurtful

• By telling yourself that you are in your comfort zone, you repeat the message to your subconscious that this is a comfy place to stay.

And your subconscious runs your life. It's is running the engine, it's in the driver seat. It's just how it is.

So, ask yourself: If we associate the zone with safety – what does this make everything outside the zone?

When you keep repeating the message that the “comfort zone is safe”, your ego will take that as truth and will also meddle it into “outside the comfort zone it is unsafe. DANGER ZONE.”

So, even by just calling this the comfort zone, the message gets sent to your subconscious that outside of it is uncomfortable – even unsafe.

Yes, we encourage others and ourselves to get out of our comfort zone and that our inner critic and ego is mistaken to think that it is safe inside the zone… but by still using the language, we are reinforcing this message.

This makes the comfort zone like a black hole for dreams and imagination.

It’s hard to escape its grip because the message that it is comfortable in there and that the inner critic wants to keep us safe is repeated over and over again.

I suggest a change.

Instead, I suggest calling it the “familiar zone”.

There is no judgment, no connotation in this other than – what’s within the zone is what we are familiar with. It’s what we know.

The other change I suggest is:

Instead of saying “the ego/inner critic/shadow wants to keep you/me/us safe” - try out “the ego/inner critic/shadow wants to keep you/me/us in the familiar zone”.

Because – again – the implied meaning of “the ego/inner critic/shadow wants to keep you/me/us safe” is that outside this zone it is unsafe.

Yes, when we say “it wants to keep you/me/us safe, we talk about the ego/inner critic/shadow” we talk ABOUT our ego and not about what we see as true – but the words still trickle from your conscious mind into your subconscious.

The subconscious runs your life. You don’t want it to get hold of such limiting vocab.

(And while you are at it – you may as well release the word “impossible”.)

Strikeout “safe”.

It’s a dangerous word to be associated with the familiar zone.

It’s dangerous to think that the familiar zone is safe.

In some situations more than in others.

Outside of the familiar zone, it’s simply different. New. Adventurous. Exciting.

It’s maybe stretchy. But not unsafe.

It’s like travelling to a new country.

You prepare for it but it’s safe.

There are new smells and new vistas and new experiences. But it is safe. Just as safe as it is inside the familiar zone.

And sometimes it’s not and then we leaaaarn.

Our familiar zone is our "home" and we can go there to take a break and rest – that’s why we tend to fall into old patterns when we are tired, stressed or worried.

Consider this: everyone has a different familiar zone. For everyone, it is this little universe evolving around them with stars and planets that are familiar.

But what’s familiar for one person may be unfamiliar for you.

Everyone floats around in their own little orbit and objectively we can say that it is not about safety but about familiarity.

It's like the fact that everyone sees a different rainbow because they stand in different spots.

So, what I suggest is this:

Experiment with letting go of the thought that “I am in my comfort zone and my ego is trying to keep me safe”. This thinking will make it SO hard to take action.

Instead, try this on for a few days. Just for a few days. Experiment and see what happens:

Your work is to take positive, inspired and surrendered action to step outside your familiar zone and see for yourself that it is safe out there.

You are safe.

You are held.

You are taken care of.

And so is your ego/inner critic/shadow (by you!).

Share this idea with them.

Don’t dismiss them but hold their hand and show them new lands of adventure.

New ways of being & living.

Act from a place of curiosity, fun, inspiration and creativity.

Learn to experience the unfamiliar and feel it in your body.

Your body may buzz - but it is your THOUGHTS (not even you!) that are attaching a meaning or story to it.

You get to choose if it is a story or fear or a story of learning.

You get to choose if you want to settle with the thought or if you want to transform and trust.

Alternatively, you don’t attach anything to it and just feel the buzz and learn to sit and be comfortable with this feeling.

Ever since I started looking at the “comfort zone” as the “familiar zone”, it feels like a light has been shed on everything beyond my familiar zone and I can see a lot clearer and I can see that it is just as safe.

It makes taking action more easeful and graceful.



I hope this inspires you to take action in the direction of what you want but that you have felt held back from.

Know that it is safe.

It is all but feedback and learning.

The more you practise stepping out of your familiar zone, the more you will see the spark that life offers.