16 Ways to Make Your Phone Your Friend: Ease Phone Addiction (iPhone)
Recently, I spoke all about setting and sticking to boundaries and one major area that I and many other people need to and are learning to set themselves boundaries for – is the use of the phone!
A beautiful invention, it now takes over our entire life and when we leave the house without it, we feel like we forgot a limb. It has become an extension of ourselves, we need it to feel complete, we need it to feel available and always on top of things.
But this is also to our detriment. The more time we spend on our phone, the less present we are in our real life outside the screen. It is easy to get addicted to the blue light, the colours, the likes, the notifications, the constant mini adrenaline hits.
And you know what? It’s okay that this happens if it happens to you.
It happens to so many of us and it is not a sign of weakness.
It is a sign that the people who invented the phone, apps and phone design reached their goal, is all.
Congrats to them!
But now, over to your own achievement of loosening the grip and easing phone addiction
First, what are the overall benefits of doing that?
When you give less of your energy to your phone, it
- boosts focus & productivity
- reduces stress & anxiety
- increases presence in the moment
- you gain more time for important things (like non-negotiables!)
- you might save money on phone data
- it improves your mood.
That all sounds pretty good, right?
Now, before we get all practical and into what you can do specifically to simplify your phone, I am going to share with you one main thing you need to do to be successful.
Your vision
You need to have a vision for what it is that you wish to create. And simplifying your phone is only one small aspect of realising that vision. You need to know WHY you want to reduce your phone usage. Is it so that you have more time that you can spend with your partner? Is it so that you get a better night’s sleep and feel refreshed and energised in the morning? Get super specific about what it is you want and then keep that vision visible and close to your heart. Feel that vision and live that vision. Focus on what it is you want to GAIN from reducing your phone usage. Remind yourself of it. When you feel tempted to check your phone – remind yourself of that vision.
Reducing your phone usage really is very much related to setting boundaries and having a look at my blog post will help you heaps to get a deeper understanding of the groundwork.
Now, let’s get practical, friend.
Tidy up your phone
1) Declutter your phone
The first step - be honest and have a look at the number of apps on your phone. How many screens are they covering? How many times do you need to swipe left to go through all of them? Then start deleting any apps you are not using. Just get rid of them. All of them. You can always download them again when you need them.
Now, how many apps of the same kind with the same purpose do you have? Can you reduce them?
There are surely also some apps that you are using rarely. Which ones of those can you get rid of?
Are there any game apps that you feel like you are perhaps a degree addicted to? Is it time to get rid of that game app?
Get rid of any unessential apps that you don’t need and that don’t serve you or support you in living the life you wish to lead.
2) Categorise your apps in folders on one screen
Now, look at what categories of apps you are using. This may be, “Music”, “Creative”, “Social Media”, “Mind and Body”, “Wellness”, “Productivity”, and so on. Now, try to reduce the number of apps you have in one folder to one page. On my phone, this means a maximum of 9 apps per category.
3) Keep it simple
There are a lot of beautiful and fancy apps out there, but what I noticed for myself after a while was that they all at some point just eat up my time and that I don’t need them. I use no fancy note apps - I use the basic note app from Apple and I love it.
4) Disable (almost all) notifications
Now, that you have cleaned up your phone, free yourself of the constant “ding” and the constant vibrations. SETTING BOUNDARIES is capitalised here. You don’t need to be available at all times. Plus, the constant notifications are like little battering rams to your carefully built wall of focus and presence.
You can set yourself a goal/boundary to only check your messages once a day, or only between certain times. The truth is - what does usually happen when your phone vibrates? You don’t even decide to take up your phone - it’s a habit. You don’t think about it, like “oh, do I really need to check my phone right now?” No, most of the time it’s a subconscious decision. Plus, when our phone rings, we often expect a “like” or a comment on a photo that boosts our self-confidence a little. The truth is, ya don’t need any of that. When your phone doesn’t buzz, you don’t wait for the likes and comments after you posted something.
Or, every ding may mean a new article in your favourite newspapers. But constantly surrounding yourself with the news often only creates a sense of worry and even anxiety - especially in times like these.
So, get rid of those notifications, dear one. And don’t stop there. You can also turn off that devilish little red number telling you how many unread messages you have.
Below you see a screenshot of my screen. This is all I have on there. I have a few extra apps (like Instagram) that I even deleted from my home screen and that only appear in the app library – or I could search for them. The background usually displays my intention for the day.
5) Silence your phone
I personally cannot stand the dinging of phones and have had my phones on silent pretty much since my teenage years. Truth be told, though, my partner can get annoyed when I miss yet another call from him. Oops!
6) Set up Do Not Disturb
This is one of my favourite settings. You find it under Settings -> Do Not Disturb. This means that in addition to everything above, you can also silence all calls and notifications during a scheduled time. For example, mine is scheduled from 8 pm to 7.30 am. That means, whichever notifications I chose to keep activated in general are silenced during this time and they only start appearing in my notifications screen after 7.30 am. So, when I use my phone in the morning to use the meditation app, it does not show me any notifications I may have received since the previous night at 8 pm! You can still allow calls from favourite contacts, so you can make sure that your partners or children’s calls come through.
7) Set up app limits
On my phone, and surely on yours too, there is an option to create app limits. You find it under Settings –> Screen Time –> App Limits. That means that once you reach your limit for the app, a little window appears that gives you the option to Accept or Ignore the App Limit. When you choose Ignore, it gives you the option to open the app for 1 minute, 15 minutes or unlimited for the day. And yes, it is very easy to get beyond that barrier, but at some point, it is also a matter of testing your own boundaries. If you choose to go beyond your own limit and you get to the point of regret, slow down. It is a choice you made and either you are okay with the choice you made, or maybe you want to create a new intention, a new reason why you set up the app limit.
8) Set alarms for your boundaries
Setting alarms is a great way to set yourself boundaries. Whenever I lose control over my nightly ritual and I begin to slide into going to bed later and later, I set myself an alarm for when to go to bed. I also set myself an alarm for when to get off all devices! So, you don’t only need to set yourself alarms for getting up, but you can also set yourself alarms to keep you accountable. You can even set yourself an alarm for every day that reminds you to think of 3 things you are grateful for in that moment. You can also set yourself alarms to take breaks.
9) Greyscale your phone
Colour theory is big with marketers and branding and one of the great fun thing about smart phones is how colourful it all is. But this may be part of why you find it so attractive – it’s eye candy! But the amazing thing is that you can actually turn off the colours onto a Greyscale. You find it here: Settings –> Accessibility –> Display & Text Size > Colour Filters. Turn the Colour Filters toggle switch on, and Greyscale appears as the top option. Tada! Much less addictive! You can also dim the general brightness of your phone to add to the effect.
Make your phone inspiring
10) Use motivational phone backgrounds
In the end, we do pick up our phone rather regularly and so, why not make the background not only pretty but inspirational or calming in some way? I started have inspirational phone backgrounds. Sometimes they are screenshots from a beautiful quote or image I see online and sometimes it is a small graphic I made fo myself in Canva that displays my current goals or a few areas I am currently working on focusing on more. At some point, you will simply get used to the back ground and not pay it much attention but you can always change it up when it gets to that.
11) Have a health hub
I am not anti phones. I really enjoy my phone and I try to make it supportive of me and my life where I can. So, introducing a little health hub is part of that. That means, for example, when I get up in the morning, all my apps are asleep except for my meditation app. I have one folder for Body & Mind where I keep an app that tracks my runs (NRC), a Yoga App (DownDog), a calm melodies app (RelaxMelodies), a meditation app (Insight Timer), a music app that I usually only use during runs (Spotify), a cycle tracking app (Clue), a moon calendar app (MoonCalendar), and the standard Health app in which I have my sleep schedule saved and which counts my steps automatically.
Separate yourself physically from your phone
12) Leave the house without your phone
Doesn’t just reading “Leave the house without your phone” makes you feel icky? Or a little exposed? I totally get it and it happens to me, too. So, every now and then, I just leave my phone at home when I go for a walk. But to be honest, I often just forget it somewhere or the battery goes dead! But do give it a go. See how it feels. See how you can be more present during your walk without your phone because there is nothing to distract you. No callers, no messages, no music, no podcasts.
13) Charge your phone in a drawer
You can set up a little charging station somewhere in your house, even in a drawer - to keep the phone out of sight. Sometimes, out of sight out of mind even applies to your phone, especially when you are at home. And how refreshing is it when you realise that you haven’t checked it in hours! You can even have a bed for your phone! I created a small bed for mine - that is the box it came in with a little towel. When I go to bed, I put my phone on airplane mode and place it screen-side down onto the bed. It is a little ritual that helps clarify the line between phone use and non-phone use time.
14) Keep your bedroom free of phones
Now, this is a recommendation that I don’t stick to but it is a recommendation that I wanted to add to this list because it is a great idea. There are perfectly fine alarm clocks if you are worried about getting out of bed without your phone. If you have the luxury - you may even opt for getting woken up by the sunlight or by purchasing a sunlight alarm that imitates the sun rising. If you keep your phone there for the sake of taking notes when an idea download hits, keep a little notebook and a pen by your bed. And a mini light. The thing is when you keep your phone right there, it is just so easy to check it (especially if you know that you are a bit of a compulsive phone checker) and the reality is that it will harm your sleep.
“Phones are designed to prompt your response. There may be rings, alerts, alarms, or lights that catch your attention. This is useful when awake, but troublesome in the night.” (verywellhealth.com)
Keeping your phone out of the bedroom serves a few really neat benefits.
- you are not tempted to check messages when in bed before going to sleep which allows you to sleep a lot better
- you don’t get woken up by sound or light if you do have any notifications or sounds on
- your sleep may actually be more sound because your body and mind know that the little machine with constant adrenaline hits is not in the room
- it prevents you from checking your phone if you wake up in the middle of the night
- you might actually take to a physical book instead of your phone before going to sleep
- you might chat more with your partner if they are also keeping the phone out of the bedroom and get to some other between-the-sheets fun more often
15) Go on a holiday without a phone or phone connection
Oooohhh, I know, right? The other day, friends were telling us how they went to an island for a few days where there was no reception and they said it was HEAVEN. And I believe it. It is definitely on my list to try because I can just imagine how much more refreshing it must be to be without your phone for days. So far, I have only experienced it on Vipassana meditation retreats but that was a whole other experience, anyway.
16) Leave your phone in the car for date night
Consider your glove compartment the new home for your phone. Do you ever go into a restaurant and look around and see various couples or groups of friends sitting around, all glued to their phone? Honestly, it makes me sad. It makes me even feel icky and I want to put down my phone even more just because of that. I certainly see it all the time and I have a few people in my life who are very attached to their phone. If you want to be more present with your friend or partner on a dinner out (or similar) try to set up a no-phones-at-table rule.
Side note:
I know that there are people who actually are craving the stimulation from the phone. If you do have a condition like that, you can always talk to a professional to find out what would be the best way for you to use your phone. In the end, it is not about getting rid of the phone but becoming its master! Muahahaha. Or at least to make it your friend - make it support you! Not prevent you from living a life with presence and happiness.
The takeaway
I know it can be tough and I am not saying I am perfect - definitely not. But there are some very clear benefits of easing our relationship with our phone and I hope that these tips give you some inspiration.
Gain back your control over your phone, dear one. I know you can do this! Just imagine all the extra time and joy you gain from this!
