Feeling stuck in life? 8 steps to find yourself again

Have you ever felt stuck? Stuck in life, a job, a relationship? Or do you even feel stuck right now?

Covid, of course, has the power to amplify such feelings and being confined to your home doesn’t exactly help. These feelings can make you feel worried, unhappy or, well, stuck which in turn can cause frustration and feel very scary.

Phew, I get exhausted just thinking about it.

Where in the past you may have been able to walk away from such situations, now you may be forced to sit with it and your feelings for longer than usual.

But you can regard this as an opportunity, too. With a lot of extra time at hand, there is more room for some overdue reflection.

And while a voice inside of you may be saying, ‘just be happy with what you have. Don’t be so ungrateful.’, let me tell you this.

You are not being ungrateful. You have something inherently human – a desire.

The word “desire” may carry some seemingly unfitting connotations for this context but think of it this way – as a longing for something that is lacking, something that is absent, a vacuum. 

You are longing for something that makes you complete (not meaning a partner or another external gratification), something that gives you divine wholeness.

The task then is to reveal what is lacking or absent in your case, what is the missing puzzle piece, and how to move forward?

The way to move forward is with a lot of self-awareness, getting to know yourself (yes, personality quizzes are more than welcome.

Also analysing the situation is crucial, don’t ignore it. Find out what is really awaking those feelings inside of you.

And lastly, don’t judge those feelings. Just observe. Feelings get manifested as tensions in the body. Where do you feel these tensions, where do you hoard unwanted and suppressed emotions?

Getting unstuck is a project of self-discovery & self-exploration & self-celebration. 

And believe me when I say – you are not alone in this. In fact, I am on this very path myself right now. So, let’s do this together, friend, and share your experiences in the comments below! I cannot wait to hear from you.

1) Move forward from a place of love

The main element you want to invite into your life as you move forward is LOVE.

Don’t make your decisions out of a place of fear.

If you choose to quit your job or change another essential part of your life, don’t do so because you detest the job or other.

Move on because there is something else that you love that you can move towards.

You don’t want to run away from something out of fear but towards something that you love.

This can be more or less specific. It can be a different calling, a different type of work. Or it can be a feeling of freedom or the feeling of uncertainty to spice up your life.

2) Journal / Talk it out

Journaling is a great way to put your thoughts on paper.

Whatever piece of paper it is, get writing, scribbling, don’t worry about structure, grammar or spelling. Write it for yourself and not even necessarily to read it again later but to activate your soul and pull it out of the everyday habits you go through.

You will see that by writing a few pages, you work through a range of topics and you will work your way to a core issue that you may not have talked about with anyone, or even thought about yourself.

But to be quite honest with you, personally, I enjoy journaling, but often I don’t feel like it. I can be a little too impatient to put my thoughts on paper :)

What I do then is talk it out while I am driving, take a voice recording while I am on a walk or video record myself like Frankie does it in Grace and Frankie. It is unexpectedly powerful and beautiful.

3) Talk to someone you trust

Talk to a friend, partner, parent, coach, counsellor, or guide about your worries and thoughts.

It often takes an exterior perspective to really get to the nitty gritty of what we are experiencing. And they may have some very good ideas on how you can work through your personal challenge.

Another reason why it can be very helpful to talk to someone is that you might find out that they feel the same way and it is often a relief to realise that we are not alone with our feelings.

In fact, you are never alone with your feelings even if you may think so.

You will be able to support and motivate each other. You could even make each other accountability partners for a better life!

Important is that the sharing doesn’t turn into gossiping or talking bad about others.

This is very hard when you are hurting but try your hardest not to talk badly about people or to gossip.

This kind of ill will is harming your precious soul; it hinders you from seeing clearly and making wise choices.

4) Visualise your dream persona

If you want to change something about your current situation it is crucial to visualise where you want to be instead – and that in as much detail as possible.

Some see this as the first out of three steps to manifest your desires.

This activity you can do in writing or thinking. You can do it either sitting down, closing your eyes, lying down, placing one hand on your belly and one on your heart space, or you can also do it on a walk – only be careful not to trip ;)

Walking has always brought the best ideas to life.

That said, a good shower can also have a similar effect.

In which ever way you choose to do this activity, the important thing is that you really visualise it. See in front of your inner eye what the future holds for you, where your future self is at.

What are you doing there? Who are your friends? What is your profession, what are your hobbies?

Then, you want to feel into that persona you are visualising. What does it feel like to be this person? What does life feel like? What does a day in that person’s life look like?

Feel it, hear it, go all in with all your senses. You want to know exactly what it is that you want to move toward.

5) Figure out a process to get there

If you have your goal in front of you it can still be extremely challenging and seem too far away to be realistic.

But it is. As you know – if you can dream it, you can do it!

So, find out how to get to this beautiful place, how to become the future you that you visualised, the one that you look up to.

There are two ways to get your process laid out. One is more analytical (5a), one is more spiritual (5b).

5a) Analyse the differences and make mini goals

After you have visualised your future self in as much detail as possible and when you can feel it in your bones, write down the differences that you see in that person’s life and in your own.

You can make a table where in the left column you write what you learned about your future/desired self. You can call that column “Future self”. Write down all the details that you noticed, big and small.

Then, you can call the right column “Current self” and write here the equivalent of your current self. For example, when you wrote in the left column “Works as a writer”, you write in the right column what you work now, for instance “Working as a zoologist”. Whatever it may be.

Write them all down and analyse how to get from the “Current self” column to the “Future self” column, from point A to point B.

This can still be daunting, but don’t fret. You don’t have to tackle one big goal at once.

For the differences that you identified you want to create mini goals. Small actionable goals or steps that you can do within a few minutes.

That is what I did with my partner visa. I am still in the process, but I was frozen before I applied. It was one of the scariest and toughest things I had to do in my life because the stakes are huge (the stakes are the life I built in Australia) and the application itself was mammooth-like. So, I procrastinated and my anxieties around it grew and grew.

Then, my friend told me about the mini goals. So, I wrote down every single step I could think of. Such as, create an account for my application, google lawyers, write a checklist of what I need.

This was the only way to get there.

Do that. Write yourself a list of mini goals for each difference between your current self and the one you visualised.

5b) Ask the visualised persona how they got to where they are

Now, the more spiritual version. This may not be for you and that is totally okay. But it may be for you and then it is a fascinating thing to try out.

As you have visualised your future self, you truly feel what it feels like to be that person, you can now step out of that person as your current self and ask the person in front of you questions along the lines of, “what did you do the past few years?”, “How did you get to where you are?”, “What did you change in your life a week after my current state?”.

As you have a true inner connection to this person in front of you, don’t try to invent what the person responds, only listen.

Listen carefully.

You may receive an answer given in audible words or not. It may be words that you cannot understand and yet you understand their meaning.

You may also only receive a feeling inside of you, a guidance.

This last option is what I experienced when I did such a meditation for the first time and it has had an impact on me ever since.

6) Pretend to already be there

This is the next step in the manifestation process and it is in general a great activity.

As you have visualised where you want to go (run toward from a place of love) and you have figured out a way to get there, now pretend to already be in exactly the state that you want to be in.

Walk into your day and through your life feeling this state in your cells.

Walk like them, speak like them, do the things this person would do.

As you vibrate with that energy and radiate this state, you will begin receiving responses or experience “coincidences” guiding you the right way.

While getting unstuck is a process, it is also decision. A decision you can make right here and right now.

Of course, that is easier said than done. But trying and going all in for your own life – that is what you need to do.

As you pretend to already be in the state that you visualised, it is a lot easier and more natural to attract the people, situations, and things into your life that will truly and fully get you to that place.

You want to run a marathon?

Feel that you are already there. What does it feel like to have the energy to run a marathon? Feel it.

What would someone eat or do if they were a marathon runner? Eat that. Do that. Feel that.

7) Take inspired action. Every Day.

Now, this is key. Because as much as I believe in the magic of the universe, you have to do the work.

But this is also where the fun begins.

Connecting to step 6) Pretend to already be there, this is where you actually get to do the thing that you want to do by getting to the desired state one day at a time.

The process to get there is the important thing and to then take action every day.

It doesn’t have to be big.

You want to be able to be in control of your quick reactions? Or you want to run a marathon?

Then do a little for it every day.

From meditating, to mindful walking, and moments of stillness. Or from stretches, to runs, sprints, eating well and taking breaks. That will get you to where you want to go.

It is funny, though, isn’t it?

I totally know this situation, I have been in it plenty of times; you know where you want to be but you don’t do the work to get there which is ironic because the persona you are visualising is literally doing this thing every day.

Let’s take some inspired action everyday toward the desires that we have for our lives.

8) Enjoy the journey

It is all learning, it is all a long big stretch of developing and getting to know yourself better. Enjoy the whole process. Do I need to say more?