How To Be A Conscious Leader & It’s International Women’s Day!
On 8 March, it is International Women’s Day and this year’s theme is women in leadership.
Our world is changing, gender equality has seen massive changes throughout just the past few decades and there are more and more women in leadership positions - which is wonderful.
And with more women in leadership positions, we also get a new chance to look at how we want to lead, in the first place.
The leadership world has largely been shaped by men and over time started to largely display masculine archetype characteristics as the “right” ones in a leader.
Those include visibility, productivity, result-oriented work, analytical, assertive, logical, competitive, win/lose mentality, doing over being, outward energy, and individualism.
This has resulted in a do-do-do mentality. But we are seeing that it causes more and more people being left behind or burning out. It is an unsustainable way of work - and therefore an unsustainable way to lead.
Please note that this is not about men versus women or saying that one is better or more advanced than the other.
It is about the two different sets of traits and strengths of the two archetypes that reside in everyone at different percentages.
However, women tend to host more feminine than masculine traits and men more masculine than feminine ones.
Men are suffering from the do-do-do or go-go-go mentality just as much as women are. They are burning out just as women are. They deserve the same conscious leadership as women do. We all do.
Women bring along a naturally higher percentage of skills and strengths which are described as those of conscious leaders.
And it is vital for women to see them as a benefit – not a disadvantage, something to ignore or dismiss or cover up with “toughness”.
Yet, after centuries of oppression of women and after their archetypal strengths have been dismissed as “less than”, it is only natural that women, too, lead in the traditional way in order to “fit in the world of leadership”. But they are the ones who can re-define it.
We need an integrated and conscious way of leadership. One that saves the sanity of us all.
What can I say - it boils down to slowing down and being mindful. (You can read my blog post on the benefits of REST here - it is very applicable in the light of this post’s topic, too.)
Before I dive into a range of ways for being a more conscious leader, I want to invite you to my coaching special. It is a special offering that I offer women who want to embrace a more integrated way of leading their team, work and life. It is only available until March 12, so make sure to sign up now!
Embrace your feminine strengths - and create a balance
It is time to recreate balanced and more sustainable work environments by not only stating gender equality in black and white on paper - but to go deeper and consider the feminine and the masculine strengths as equal, too.
I have laid out the masculine ones above.
The feminine ones include nurturance, sensitivity, win/win mentality, stillness, empathy, vulnerability, being over doing, inward energy, intuition, creativity, allowing, flow, invisibility aka rest.
The points below even further reflect feminine strengths, so, let’s all begin to integrate them into our leadership.
“It is not just do do do. It is not just be be be. It is do be do be do.”
— Amit Goswami, theoretical nuclear physicist & consciousness researcher
Practice awareness
As I always say - first there is awareness.
In order to be a conscious leader, we need to slow down.
When we slow down, we calm down the fight, flight or freeze response. We make our body and mind understand that we are safe.
When we slow down, we become aware and can see what is in front of us.
We can see what is true in this moment. Are we in survival or in thrive mode? What is present in front of us? Did the strategy work or not?
Become aware without judgment and without attachment.
Cultivate curiosity & wonder
In order to be a conscious leader, we need to be curious.
That means to see the situation for what it is and then lean in to possibilities – instead of becoming defensive when we notice that we made a mistake or continuing with systems that are ineffective.
It means that we are open to change and improvements and open to learning and growing.
This is what makes the difference between a growth mindset and a closed mindset (you can learn more about that in the revolutionary book Mindset by Dr Carol Dweck) and it can make a company either thrive or barely survive.
Adopt a win-win-win mentality
Integrated leadership is not about one party or even only one single person “winning”.
It is about creating a situation, work environment, processes and results that are of the benefit of all.
Collaborate
Yet another feminine trait that surfaces in conscious leadership.
The truth is that we don't have to do it all on our own and in fact doing things on our own is what will cost money, time and energy.
It will compromise the quality of the result when we don’t work with others who are better than us at something.
This is not the time to prove ourselves to others, not to our team or colleagues. Well, at least not always. It is the time to create positive change for all of us.
By collaborating, everyone can make a contribution, feel meaningful and increase their happiness.
The collaboration has to be genuine, though. It is not enough to have it down on paper. There needs to be true and genuine leaning in.
We need to loosen our grip and let others play, too, for the sake of the best outcome.
Ask for help
If you desire to be a conscious leader of your team, work, company or life, you want to start asking for help.
Asking for help, in general, is a challenge for many because it “implies” that we don’t know something or that we have a lack of knowledge or ability.
Ask yourself now: How does it feel to you if you ask for help?
The truth is that others love to help.
In various happiness studies, “purpose” or “meaning” is one of the key aspects of happiness and when we can help someone who asked us for help - it gives us meaning and purpose.
You probably have heard before that asking for help is actually an act of strength, but that might seem quite abstract for you.
Think of it in this way: when you ask others for help it is not about you being vulnerable or exposing a “weak spot”. It is about embodying your own integrity by seeing and accepting that there is something that someone else knows more about than you.
Being comfortable with who you are is a strength. And it is inspiring for others.
Plus, by asking for help you are enabling and empowering someone else to shine.
Listen deeply & attentively
Another key of conscious leadership and collaboration is deep and honest listening.
When we really listen, we don’t just appear to listen.
We don’t just wait to get our own word in. No. Listening means to be curious, present, and open-minded.
It means that we ask follow-up questions and are supportive.
And then?
The next step is to take action and to actually implement suggestions and ideas that we heard where applicable.
Co-workers and staff will feel empowered and be willing to be more loyal when they feel heard.
Not feeling heard by a team leader or manager is one of the main reasons why good employees leave a job.
It is important to be aware of that.
Our job as a leader is not to do everything on our own but to empower others to do their job well and to contribute.
And it starts with listening.
Be vulnerable
We may associate leadership with assertiveness, but again this is where conscious leadership changes things a little.
Not by being less assertive but by finding a balance between being assertive and vulnerable.
Most leaders won’t show vulnerability.
But by showing integrity and vulnerability by, for example, admitting that we made a mistake, asking for help, admitting we are not an expert, being honest to ourselves and others, we become relatable.
We don’t need to try to prove that we are right all the time.
Instead, as a conscious leader, you consider constructive criticism and stop blaming (others or yourself).
You look for solutions, take responsibility - also for mistakes, but without judgment. Trust.
When a leader shows vulnerability, they become relatable and trustworthy in the eyes of an employee. And “trust in a leader improves employee performance. You can even see this at the level of the brain. Employees who recall a boss who resonated with them show enhanced activation in parts of the brain related to positive emotion and social connection. The reverse is true when they think of a boss who did not resonate,” writes psychologist Emma Sepällä, PhD.
Look around yourself in your work environment
The irony of a lot of leaders out there is that they are mainly concerned with those above them.
Team leaders are concerned with their manager, the manager with the CEO, the CEO with the board.
But as a leader, our responsibility lies with the people who work in our team, with those we, well, lead.
The key is to involve our team, listen to them, empower them, be true to our word, to be transparent and kind.
Question your own beliefs, your standpoint, your truth
While it is important to know and stand up for your truth and values as a conscious leader, it is equally important to respect and see those of others.
Make it a regular exercise to question your own beliefs, standpoint and truth.
Your subconscious, past stories and fears shape your perceived reality but everyone else experiences a different, equally individual reality.
Have fun!
Don’t take things too seriously.
When you understand that everyone in your team is equal and equally whole (even if at different pay levels), it becomes easier to let things go.
We spend a third of our day, many people even way more - very likely so if you are a leader - at work.
So, make it fun and enjoyable for everyone if you can.
Recognise your own wholeness
Besides slowing down and being aware, another underlying or overarching theme in leadership (or anything else in life) is our own wholeness.
Admitting a mistake, asking for help, being open-minded, not doing things all on your own – none of these compromise your wholeness or worth.
It can’t and it doesn’t because you are always whole.
When we try to prove that we are right, it is our ego wanting to protect our identity but your identity at its core is always whole and that doesn't change if we are right or wrong.
But our experiences in life and our conditioning teach us that we are not whole which makes it even harder to be vulnerable.
Understanding that you are innately whole and truly knowing that in your heart and gut – that can change your leadership style.
